The Wer Anarchist

Yazuu and I got some last-minute groceries, then decided to get some lunch. We went to this LJS/A&W combo joint with a 50s feel and a large juke box in the lobby (K-chan, you've been there).

Yazuu stayed in the car and I went in to fetch. Placed my order, waited for all the fresh fried goodness and chilled to the oldies on the juke box. It was playing this Neil Diamond song about a traveling salvation show...

...and my fatigued and frazzled mind supplied this version of the lyrics:

Buckle up, it's Uncle Buck's Traveling Salvation Show!

...yeah. Yazuu had the same reaction.

What type of Fae are you?

I've been having a rough time this morning, small things making me cry. I may have to write them out when I feel stronger but not yet.

So I looked through our flists to try to distract myself and I found this poem. It's by a Chinese poet who committed suicide shortly after writing this.

I know that Seph was discussing lightning bolts with someone last night...

Face the ocean, and there blooms the spring flower
by Haizi (1964-1989)

Starting from tomorrow, be a happy person
Feed the horse, chop the woods, and go around the world
Starting from tomorrow, pay attention to grains and vegetables
I have a house which
Faces the ocean, and there blooms the spring flower

Starting from tomorrow, write to every loved one
Tell them of my joy
What the lightning bolt of happiness told me
I shall relay to each and every person

I give a name of benediction to every river, every mountain
Stranger, my prayer is also for you
May you have a brilliant future
May you be united with the one you love
May you find happiness in this earthly world
As for me, I only wish to face the ocean, let there bloom the warm spring flower

We've been getting what Sephiroth calls "storms" - emotional flares - from the little reminders. And some of us are dealing with what I can only call survivor's guilt - the shoulda/woulda/coulda thing. It's normal, if unpleasant, and we're weathering it as best we can, some better than others.

But this evening, I had something very profound and absolutely comforting happen, and I need to write it down here so we don't forget it.

In response to one of our posts (I think it was guiltyred@lj), someone made the observation that, with Samhain drawing near, there was no need to worry about our kitty getting where he needs to be. And I realized: he always was our perfect "Halloween cat" - he did that back-arch thing when he stretched, and he looked like one of those shadow cutouts.

Of course he would leave us now: he had a train to catch.

He's free to wander, and I personally suspect that he'll be visiting Aerith often. And, about when I realized this...the guys' screensaver brought up a picture of me with Zack in the lifestream.

My heart is content believing that Syrius did exactly what he planned to do, and he's well on his way to the afterlife of his choosing. He has an open invitation to our home, always.

As most of you have seen in our partners' journal, we're going through some changes here. I'm going to quote some of their post, as it was written so well, and then add my own two cents where needed.

We have come to a point in our life where we are starting to make some difficult decisions about life, our universe and everything else we take part in. We have had long discussions about where we are going and what we are doing with the rest of this body-life that we have and who we may want to share that information with.

It's a bit of a shakeup, to see two very public figures die suddenly within days of one another at the age of 50 - Michael Jackson and Billy Mays - and then realize they were only five years older than our body is right now. We've been doing a lot of soul-searching on the heels of that, and what we're finding doesn't make us happy.

Every now and again, we tend to be a little bit semi-isolationist. We have never had a problem with being alone and sometimes we just need to retreat from everyone to reconnect with what is important in our life.

That reconnecting is crucial. I don't think we've ever felt the pressure of time so dearly as we're feeling it right now.

So, that having been said, we are de-adding some of you from our flist. ... Feel free to cut us from your lists at will.

It's not a step we've arrived at lightly, and there is no anger or negativity behind it. We simply do not fit with many of our flist anymore, if we ever did. I apologize if this is upsetting, but it is the truth: adding someone on the basis of one thing in common, no matter how large that one thing, is not the way to build lasting friendships.

If you've moved to another journaling service, you likely know our singlet journal name, and we'll read you there. No one is being cut from our fandom or fanfic journals. Keep in mind, our singlet journal is just that: non-plural, and primarily for fandom only. You're more than welcome to hang with us there if you want to.

And if you just don't use IJ anymore, or haven't updated or commented to us in months on end, we figure you're not following us here anyway.

We are distancing ourselves from any and all plural groups. This is not because you are plural groups, but because we need a lot of space right now. We need to focus on our life, health, partners and other important things offline. We haven’t corresponded with many of you in months and again, we do not feel like we know you at all.

Our group feels like we no longer have a good fit with many of you - there aren't enough commonalities to bridge all the differences, and while this is sad, it is also a fact of life. People change, and then move on.

Again, this is not because of anyone, it is more for us. We hope that you all live a wonderful life and that you find the peace and happiness that you deserve.

Exactly this. Peace to all of you, wherever you may go.



***There will be a follow up post for those who haven't been cut. If you can see the next post then you are still on the flist.***

Yes, Loz. It *is* that simple.

Had the dentist appointment today. Since it was going to be kind of involved, I volunteered to be out - the teeth are sort of my project, after all. I've been through it, so I knew I could handle anything.

But I still hatehateHATE when they have to do laser surgery on the gums.

And I also hate upper shots - the ones where they hit you on the outside of the gum and then on the palate. I opted for the gas, just to keep me in the damn chair.

So, after the lasering and before the post and buildup, they let me up to rinse and I pick up on this singular taste in my mouth - kind of like cooked meat. o_O; So I quip, "Hm, tastes like chicken!"

To which the dental assistant goes, "What kind?"

We agreed that barbecued might be most appropriate.

It's funny - so far, my day isn't that much different for being out of work. I'm sitting at a computer, reading other people's stuff and making observations on it. Oh, and correcting my typos as they happen. ~_^

We want to set up a daily routine similar to what we'd been doing: get up, eat a decent breakfast, "go to the office" (boot up our computer in the den), and ply our trade as a wordsmith for 6-8 hours a day, then "go home" (meet up with the Romys) and have a good evening. Van has pointed out that *my* life hasn't changed all that much. He said I've got a list of writing projects ("assignments") and that he's now my editor. Could be...interesting.

Still have to do the paperwork crap - the online filing for unemployment and calling on some credit cards, stuff like that. Rufus is set for that stuff.

And today we're really not going to get too much done until after we see the dentist at 2:30. Damn tooth needs a post and rebuild, and then hopefully we can save it. It's still iffy. We're having a lot of anxiety over this - I mean, we poured a ton of cash and time into getting them fixed in the first place. If they're still going to end up failing, I don't know what we'll do besides beat ourselves up for "wasting money" while we had it. (At least we didn't use it to get into a house - imagine if we'd taken out a mortgage to buy a house and pay off our student loans, and maybe fix up our teeth too, and then gotten hit with the current mortgage whammy.)

Anyway, I'm going to be out a bit today, hopefully getting through our overwhelming backlog of email and comments. We're flailing a bit, still, but we did allow ourselves a few days to freak out at the transition from work to not-work, so I know we'll be okay. Just not sure how long that'll take...

Haven't done one of these in a while...

Our critters:


Kadaj's brood:


I'm dealing with monthly woes at the moment, hopefully I'll feel better later today. There is much I want to blog about, but right now I'm just not that coherent. :P

Today is a Good Day. :3

You know, one of these days we'll figure out that we're not *really* saving little helpless baby dragons...

...but that day is not this day!

Nabbed two sun dragon eggs - I'm hoping for one of each. ~_^

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Aaaaand...this poor thing was left on the doorstep with under two days, and I couldn't resist.



In other news, Nero and I finally watched "Nightmare Before Christmas" - we're totally hooked on Tim Burton movies now, I think, after that and "Corpse Bride". Need to see "Coraline" one of these days...

We'll be cleaning up the den this weekend. I know that Zechs will be on hand for any repair work (the doorknob on the bedroom closet has come out again), and I'm going to try to talk Cloud into making some custard at some point. True, I did make brownies tonight, but custard I can pretend is actually nutritious. Right?

So I'm clicking on dragon eggs in dragonspam and I accidentally click on my own post there (from this journal).

Tweak says, "Anarchists have a group?"

Smartass. XD

I think the only reason we keep posting our dragon eggs here is to keep track of which are whose, lol!

These are mine. ~_^





Oh, and we'd have a bred stone/geode if we hadn't been scroll-locked, dammit! ><# (Must try with Turk's stone and Loz's silver again in a week!)

Got two of the new eggs today, just as the first thunderstorm of the year started up. I'll have to name them appropriately. :3

So I had to nab an Earth Dragon on Earth day...



And then Cloud says to see if the two-headeds were feeling frisky.

They were. :3

I just nabbed a silver egg off the abandoned page! :D

Well, we've got too many hatchlings to get any eggs right now, so...I bred a skywing with a fog dragon and got one egg:



Sephiroth's:
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Turk's:


And one that Angeal got for somebody, not really sure who it's for but we're hoping it's a boy dragon!


Schuldig did find out the other day that if you breed any two seasonals you get a current model seasonal egg, so we'll be doing some more breeding once we have some spots open. Extras will be released (like the first one he tried - he wanted to give someone on the abandoned egg page a chance).

But so is Sephiroth, and half a dozen others here. :3

Sephiroth's newest:
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And mine:
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I swear, ONE of these days we WILL score a paper and a chicken...

Cloud's:


Mine:


ETA: Angeal's hatchling:

1. Finding out that the broken tooth (remember, I was out for all the heavy dental work three years ago) is still under warranty, and has already had a root canal so...no cost and no pain!

2. Going to this site and finding out that the body's virtual age is 42.5 with a life expectancy of 77.5 - and that's in spite of high stress and a mostly-sedentary lifestyle.

3. Seeing a rosy finch at the dentist's office. (They have huge evergreens and bird feeders by the exam room windows, and one little finch just showed off like crazy for me.)

4. People at work being not only understanding about the tooth (and missing Friday) but being downright supportive. ("It's okay, you're among friends here." Almost made me cry.)

5. It's a beautiful day, the panic is steadily receding (takes a while, we were jacked up so high lately), and Coca-cola erases the nasty plastic taste left by those damn bite impressions - which did not, this time, make me hurl. :3